The horror continues

Muhahahahahaha. It's not the end!

The Lamp on Crack

Salim: I'm an accomplished liar.
Salim's mom: I don't see how you can call that "accomplished", dear, since I physically abuse you no matter what you say.
Salim: Damn straight. I'm not even sure why I bother lying.
Salim's mom: You're an idiot, that's why. Now go buy some oil.
Salim: Whatever. Give me the damn money, woman.

--Salim acquires oil--

Salim's mom: How much did you spend?!
Salim: I invested 10 cents, my dear ignorant woman. Petronas's stocks are rising like there's no tomorrow.
Salim's mom: lol k
Salim: Now go busy yourself with something so I can masterfully carry out my insidious plan to steal oil.
Salim's mom: Okie dokie.
Salim: All your oil are belong to us!!
Azmi: You stole t3h oil!
Salim: (FORCE-PERSUADE) I did not steal t3h oil. I am your master. You will listen and obey.
Azmi: (FORCE-PERSUADE'D) Yes, lord. I shall do your bidding.
Salim: This is a ring. Take it. You are to carry it until you go insane, lose whatever little hair you have left and turn into some sort of mutated loin-clothed freak with a speech deficiency. Now go play somewhere else.
Azmi: OoOooOoooOoh, mY pRecIoUs!
Peter Jackson: Holy moly! Call the CG department and tell 'em to put their work on hold! I've found the perfect candidate for Gollum!

--At night--

Salim: My lamp! IT'S ALIVE!! Wow, I must be a genius! A child prodigy! The next Einstein!
Salim's mom: Shut up! Some people are trying to sleep here, you know?!
Salim: The wick! It burns!! I can do my homework now! 1337!

--A few minutes later--

Salim: 6+0=25...6.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

--Lamp flips over--

Salim: Aaaahhh!!! My homework! It burns!!

--Fire continues spreading--

Salim: Aaaaahhhh!! My hand! IT BURNS TOO!!
Salim's mom: SHUT UP!
Salim's dad: Something.... burning... mmmm... turkey....

--Next morning--

Salim: MY BODY! IT BUUUUURNS!!
Salim's mom: Wha--? Where're the ceiling and the walls? Why are we sleeping in the open?! OMG MY HOUSE IS GONE!!!
Salim's dad: Mmmm... turkey....

--Somewhere in the rubble--

New lamp: I > j00.
Old lamp: No shit. I couldn't burn the house down even after 10 years of trying. I hate to admit it, but you win.
New lamp: So.. what do we do now?
Old lamp: Hmmm. Know how to play "I spy"?

The End

Okay. That was random.