This town ain't big enough for Soda Pop

Yes. You know what it is. Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own Shane, nor is my name Jack Schaefer, or however it's spelled.

Shane on Crack

Bobby: Wow, Shane, j00 are t3h 1337!
Shane: Why thank you, Bobby boy. I'll tell you my secret. Angst is t3h cool.
Joe: Hey Shane ol' buddy ol' pal, let's go kill a tree together.
Shane: Word.
Marian: Y hallo thar, handsome. Let me shamelessly flirt with you by feeding you cookies and apple pie. Is my hat pretty by the way?
Shane: What hat? This pie tastes like tree stump.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Marian: OMG LOL hahahaha you're so funny!!

--Stuff happens--
--More stuff happens--

Random assassin d00d: Me Wilson. You Shane.
Shane: Me 1337. You not-so-1337.
Wilson: lol j00 suck lol
Shane: Bang.
Wilson: OMG I am t3h dead!!
Shane: Ouch. That hurt, you @)(*!@)*#.
Fletcher: What the--? Okay, what did I miss?
Shane: Bang.
Fletcher: WTF? I DIED'D? Damn, that was lame.
Bobby: Shane! My hero!
Shane: Bobby boy, you're a nice kid and all, but if you don't stop being all sentimental over me I'm gonna bleed to death here.
Bobby: You wouldn't have gotten hurt if you practised, right? RIGHT?!
Shane: Erm yeah. Unfortunately this town doesn't have Time Crisis 2.
Bobby: LOL pwnage.
Shane: Be a good boy. Oh, your mom's hot, by the way.
Bobby: Shane.. before you go... what are you running from, really?
Shane: My ex-wife. Oh shit, I think I hear her coming. Cheerioz.

The End

Wow.. you managed to survive that?