The Trouble With Being Me

Yes! Finally a blog update that has something to do with ME!

The Trouble With Having Bad Memory

1) I displayed an astounding amount of idiocy while driving home from college about a week or two ago. I'd jump to my own defense and claim that the fact that my car managed to remain stationary on an uphill slope while waiting for the traffic lights tipped me off, but everytime you lie psychic alien forces destroy a tub of ice-cream, and I damn well want my ice-cream. This is what actually happened.

Me: *lets go of brake*
Car: *remains stationary*
Me: .....Whoa. Neat. *goes back to the intellectually-exhausting task of listening to pop songs*

About 15 minutes later my car started spazzing out on me. I did the rational thing and panicked like a headless chicken. I pulled over and, upon reaching down to pull up my handbrake, realized I had never released it in the first place.

2) A few days after the car incident, I met a girl at the entrance to my college. She was all like, "Oh itz u!!11!!!11" and I was all like, "Heeeeeeeeeey!!!11!1". We had a short, amiable chat about really inane stuff like How-are-you and What-are-you-doing-now and Gee-the-weather-is-nice. Then I had to excuse myself before I ended up being late for class.

I walked away wondering who the heck I had just talked to.

3) During my Music Club meeting last Wednesday, I ran into the same girl again. We went into the whole cycle of inane dialogue again before deciding to exchange our cellphone numbers. I jumped at this opportunity, of course.

Me: YES!! Now I'll use the ol' "How do I spell your name?" trick. I'll prolly remember who she is once I know her name...
Girl: It's _____.
Me: _____?
Girl: Yes, _____.

Note: Name censored due to privacy precautions.

Me: Shit... ______ who?

As of now, I still have no idea who she is.

3) Speaking of bad memory, I'm especially bad at remembering my classmates from my English class. I think it's because they're the only ones I'm supposed to remember. Must be a Freshie bond thing.

The scenario below has happened way too often.

-Group discussion time-

Me: Hi, I'm ______.
Fella A: I'm ______.
Me: Oh, nice to meet you.

We have a jolly good time discussing inane stuff.

-A few hours later in the canteen-

Me: Hi, I'm _______. You are?
Fella A: .....Weren't we in the same group this morning?

Whooops.

The Trouble With Being Partially Deaf

Most of you who know me in real life should know just how deaf I can be sometimes. I don't really have a problem with girls though -- it's usually the guys I have trouble understanding most of the time. Am I missing something? Does everyone else have some sort of Guy-Mumble-o-Filter or something? It's kinda hard to carry a conversation when I have no frickin' idea what you're saying, y'know.

Guy A: I mumble mumble that mumble mumble right?
Me: ....Errr.. yeah!
Guy B: Mumble mumble mumble mumble!
Other girls: HaHAhahaHAHAha!
Me: Huh? Oh.. err.. haha!

Guys, if you're wondering why I seem to keep giving irrelevent answers to your questions...

Guy A: So which do you like better? Cheesecake or grilled frogs?
Me: *hears mumbling end like a question* Oh... yes!

...it's because I can't for the life of me understand you. So now you know.

The Trouble With Being Randomly Insane

How does that song go again? 0/~ Nooooooooooobody understaaaaaaaaands meeeeee 0/~ or something? Or did my delusional, chocolate-deprived mind just make that up? I have no idea.

Group discussion scenario... AGAIN!

Teacher: I want you to do a sketch on _______.
Me: Okay... so what are we gonna do? Any ideas?
Everyone else in my group: ...........
Me: Well I dunno about you guys, but I want lots of explosions and stuff!!
Everyone else in my group: ...........
Me: *wilts under the silence*

I have the strangest feeling that everyone else is taking me waaaaaaaay too seriously....

The Trouble With Looking Sleepy

Today during Maths class one of the girls from my English class (Yes, I remember her) turned around and asked me whether I was a First Semester student. I thought this was a really strange question to ask, since all First Semester students take the same English course and all. It wasn't like she forgot who I was either.

Girl A: Hey, are you a first semester student?
Me: ....Aren't you in my English class?
Girl A: Yeah...
Me: ....Isn't everyone in English class a Freshie?
Girl A: I dunno... you just look really relaxed to me.
Me: Relaxed?
Girl A: Yeah.
Me: I think you mean "sleepy"...
Girl A: Oh yeah, "sleepy". You look sleepy.

So.. sleepy = relaxed?

Half an hour later, the girl sitting beside me asked whether I was a Freshie.

Girl B: Is this your first semester?
Me: ....Yes?
Girl B: 19... 87?
Me: ....Yeah.... why?
Girl B: You don't look like a Freshie...
Me: Yes, I look old for my age.

I would have added "And sleepy too." but our lecturer resumed teaching then. Oh well.

After class, this other girl I didn't really know all that well (she sat in front of me last week and that's about it), walked right up to me and asked me whether I'd like to join her for lunch. I was surprised, but I accepted her invitation anyway.

Girl C: Are you a Freshie?
Me: .....Yes...... What's with everyone today?
Girl C: You look tired.
Me: I am tired. And sleepy too.

This reminds me of what my band senior (and President) used to say about me:

Fellow band member: Hey, how come you only rag on me all the time? You never say anything about her! *points at me*
Band senior: She looks sleepy all the time!
Me: .........

Verdict: A sleepy face is almost as unreadable as a poker face. EXPLOIT IT!

And last but not least...

The Trouble With Ending This Really Pointless Post

Hey, what's that over there?! Haha, fooled you! THE END!